I have this horrible obsession plaguing my mind about you and her and no matter how i try to convince myself it's only in head and you're being true and honest, like you said, i know deep down it's actually happening. What's really eating away at my soul is why am i not enough or what do i need to do more so that you can be happy with me. Apparently you cannot and i can't convince you to let her go. Fine then. I won't stand in the way of your happiness...

...fast forward to 2024...4 years apart (has it really been so long? so much wasted time, such futility in trying to see how far you would venture with your deceptions and lies)

i find myself closer to the icyness once more, only a slight chip or crack here an there, but the cold will fix them soon enough, frozen merciless beauty will engulf everything again. it doesn't really occur to me to mind about you. truthfully, it's more my own shame towards myself that i find appalling how i could ever come down from my tower to a lowly miserable mortal such as you and let you darken my cold radiance. 

The precipice is far off now, the tower gates are closed, the shrill of the wind cutting through to your very bones, only a sign remains in letter of my own devise, of my own blood and tears..."love is like the plague and noone should have to suffer that much". 

As i sit here in my mind i see it all resurfacing again, the memories of my glory flooding in, the light and darkness all in one blinding everything in sight. 

Only just...only just...a bit more patience till i can cover my sheer naked body in that gown and until i can lift that crown with barely a finger. Oh such sweet sensual pleasure that will be and how i long to lose myself in myself