absolutely... something...analogia gemenilor

The one not me is you, and the one not you is me. we are separate individuals. this is absolute. but together we are one....together we are one sole entity. this is also absolute.

to part, impart and be apart is what should happen in spite of ourselves. but overselves are so sickly dependent on eachother's mind that "apart" is not an option even if we are alone. i ache as you depart, you ache and fall apart. and this too is absolute.

ourself is what makes us cling to eachother's physical form, so perfectly reflected unto one another, if not a mirror image.

My back should rest on your back, you hand on my hand, our breath into ourself and die within our preciously small world - that little universe, we want everyone to understand, but want noone to be a part of...since noone's ultimately good enough.

i write in hope that our writing will fade into the light and stay forever hidden between ourselves, within ourself.

ability to see myself apart from you, so blissfully ignorant of anything that could be considered a connection - your smile, your eyes, your bones, how you can never seem close enough for me to reach, how everything i try to say is misinterpreted and you dismiss me as yourself within my broken sleep. i care not, i see not, i hate not, i need ... maybe not, but still the yearning so terrible, so anguished, so desperate, so iresolute, i can't convince myself it's mine - belonging to a sea of ice whose surface is just cracking from a sharp word, a storm of bitter cold... and there is no need to cry when everlasting night can never melt the frozen soul. the sun is far from rising over this precipice, the demons are far from gone and i'm far from being uninvolved... i couldn't keep this promise to myself and i ended up just as i never hoped to be again, alone, broken, craned in a corner, waiting for a look, a glance that may just give me hope or sink me back into despair and stone-cold nothingness.

such precious pain, so tragically beautiful, like death in the morality of a rose. i know i shouldn't have, but i did and i don't even want this, that's how torn i am, a feeling i don't want, can't embrace as a part of me and deal with... i cannot save myself from me this time, i need someone else to take my hand and pull me out of this slump... and i can't say u'r not trying, but it's going to take so long to .... forget or heal or even accept. they say the only way of getting over a broken heart is with another broken heart; a stab of the knife can only be forgotten through the one that comes after it.... and the scars never heal, never disappear, they linger, just like a memory of you, of what i will never allow to be, to happen, for the... sake of everyone... no need to cry - never helped anybody and this u'd never understand, this darkness in me, this other me that' not yours, that you could never see, that i will never show you or that you'd never notice even if it hit u on the head - you'd just say it's a phase of mine, i'm drifting into insanity and you'll forget about me once more, for i'm not important, i could never be that important for you to even begin to see me as i am - and in the end that's the only thing i want, for you to get to know me, to notice something about me, to not consider me conquered land, for i swear to you, i'll make u slip off your feet, and you'll never why or what went wrong, because u never got to know this me - big mistake...huuuge...and there is someone that can tell you this, the only one that saw me develop to what i am now : a mirror. a mirror has to faces - that bright, shiny one that you keep ur reflection in and the back side that nobody cares to see, but that actually supports that cristal-clear image, a face that has the power to break and distort...this other me.

i break my mirror to tears....and wish for you to never break me away from my insanity, from the only thing i never could call mine for even an instant...this is possession, not belonging.