incoherence

i cried my share in oceans yesterday, i sobbed, i sighed, i bellowed, i despaired, i stopped existing, if only for a few seconds in a hallway, collapsed on the floor, dripping mascara that stains carpets and perceptions. dark tears that stained the very fabric of my soul and its underlying reality. the experience is like being drained of any drop of life lingering in my body, like having wings chopped off with an axe...bloody feathers stuck to its blade while i shout in relentless pain and insanity the realization of the loss, the absurdity of such a state, the absence of...you. regardless of the effort i put into wording it, the more it seems impossible to convey this dreaded ambiguity of what i feel so that you might understand... i think i tore myself up in another million pieces, to add to the other millions... so much so i fail to the substance in my existence. i need a sack of pieces... could you spare some?