When u die, i’ll cover every mirror. What point would they have? I hate seing my crying face, your crimson shade, ourselves as we were and never have been. I hate reflections now that u died. My tears have no reflection. They just don’t exist. They never did and never will because everything is not fine, because i am not myself and nothing more than an empty shell, i long for what u made me into, you and everyone else, u made me the way i am ... you died. I died along with you. How can creation outlive the creator? How can i be when i have nothing to reflect? There is no one to reflect anymore, i might as well be air, i might as well be the wind, i might as well... cover u too my beloved valentine. Could u die for me, so i see what it feels like? So i see what a corpse is like, so i see myself as alone forever. Could u please dig deep into the rotting earth and crawl underneath that dampness, just stay there with urself, just be eaten alive by urself... just have no mirror to look into. That’s why i covered all the mirrors. Because u died, and ur beauty died with you. U need no mirror. U need a black casket, u need blooming white orchids, u need satin lining, u don’t need me. There would be no room for me. There would be no place for my torn self, my torn wings. Because i’ll never leave them u see... the wings you tore out violently when i decided i’d be urs in yet another masochistic outburst. The sweet pain, the excrushiating pain...the pain u see...i get a thrill...the hurt...i longed for it...i wanted you to have me as ur own, and throw me aside, and have me again, and throw me again, and again, and again, and again...until i quiver at the very sound of you, at the very idea that you are near, until i crawl on the floor and beg you to slash me, because i’m urs, and i wish to be noone else’s, and wish to die by ur hand and no other...since i belong to u. So don’t u dare die, don’t you dare leave me alone...don’t die on me. That is my only wish...
whisper...whisper...your tongue to my ear...whisper...whimper...coarse lips touch the pale skin...whine...despise...desire...moan... never love.
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